Appraisal

I wish I could believe 

In my brokenness 

The same way 

That the Japanese

Have embraced shattered ceramics

Kintsugi is the art

Of repairing damaged pottery 

By filling in the cracks 

With gold 

Showing that one can still

Hold value 

Despite not always 

Being intact 

I wish I could see

The beauty in my fragility

And hold worth 

In the restoration

Of my pieces

But all I remember

Is how badly I shattered

And the cruelty of devastation

When those who held me 

Chose to be careless

And how long it took

To have some semblance

Of being whole again

I do not believe 

The cracks in my personality

The fragments of my sacred self 

The destruction of my person

Could be so beautiful 

Despite their glimmering allure 

For I know 

And will not soon forget 

How much I bled 

From the sharpness 

Of my remnants

The sharp stinging 

Upon my fingertips

While I picked them up 

Alone 

I feel that my bloodshed

The crimson stains

In my mended vessel

Should be appreciated 

And treasured 

More than the gold 

Holding it together 

-j.p